People have been asking me for weeks, months years about a Nina Simone Movie, when I heard about Zoe Saldana being cast, I reserved judgement.  You NEVER know what People are MEANT to do. 

SO TODAY I saw the images of Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone.. AND I THINK THEY ARE RIDICULOUS! Yes there should be a movie made, and YES! they should have chosen someone who LOOKS like Nina Simone, ESPECIALLY since her RACE played such a PIVOTAL role in WHO, WHAT and WHY she was. 

THAT ASIDE for a second, this just looks WEIRD.  It looks like a person in Black(er) face with a fake nose … REALLY?!!!!  DOES NOT THE ONE NINA SIMONE’S LEGACY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS? 

If they were going to pick a person who looks NOTHING like Nina Simone … why not her Daughter Simone *shrug* just saying…

As hard as Nina had to fight for what she wanted BECAUSE she was black and looked the way she did … THIS looks like a parody.  If it has to be FORCED this hard something’s not right! 

I am VERY opinionated about Music, I can dissect VOCALS, ALL DAY, I don’t KNOW ACTING LIKE THAT! but I trust that through her obvious admiration of Nina, that Zoe Saldana can pull off the portrayal ENERGETICALLY … 

But these Images … just make me feel … Sad.  Not because I want to play Nina Simone but because IT FEELS OUT OF PLACE WITH WHAT NINA SIMONE MEANS IN AN AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORICAL CONTEXT!!!! ( yes I yelled just now - I am emotional about OTHER things today,and I’m riding the wave of that, but this IS WHAT I FEEL..)

I have always been OPEN to playing Nina, but i never saw it as my RIGHT!
I am clearly Nina Simone’s Physical Heir Apparent, THAT doesn’t mean I SHOULD play her, it’s been tossed around ALOT, for a LONG TIME.  I back down because I feel her legacy deserves better than a FIRST TIME MOVIE ACTRESS, I’m like that about my heroes.  If i ever FELT I was truly CALLED to play her, I would.  And Maybe Zoe Saldana REALLY is BEIGN CALLED SPIRITUALLY TO PLAY THIS ROLE …

But I DO NOT LIKE these PICTURES.  AT ALL

SEEING Nina Simone changed my life, when I was 17 My cousin and I tried to call her. Whole ‘NOTHER story ….


I will END this by saying, think VIOLA DAVIS should be playing Nina Simone. 

People are asking ALL OVER MY TIME LINE, (For a long time now) when is my My NEXT album coming out. 

I have been working on Open Door for 3 Years now, and have been SO excited about sharing it with you. its a very unique project.

YET, I am sad to report, it ALL FELL APART LAST WEEK. 

I Took the weekend to regroup

I’ve been trying so HARD to make it all happen for a LONG time, and last week I had an EPIPHANY! that I MUST, “Let GO and LET GOD”

If it comes back to me, I will know it was meant to be, if it DOESN’T! then …

MOVING ON: I am currently writing and recording ANOTHER album because that is what I DO!  Music is my PASSION MISSION AND JOB … I don’t know what this one will be called yet … but the songs those of you who CAME to see an OPEN DOOR performance Heard, (in either JUNE or OCTOBER 2011) … as of now, Won’t be released. I tried. HARD. 

Even to the point of violating my own values .. I should have KNOWN THAT would not have EVEN works. LOL! *tears*

But I am sad today, this is a heart break, music is the LOVE of my life. BUT! as with the heart breaks I have experienced over the years … it always makes me better, and it inspires the GREATEST songs.

SO All SOUL BIRDS WORLDWIDE know that the MORE you ask for my next album, the MORE inspired I am to complete this NEXT one.  And right NOW, I NEED ALL THE INSPIRATION I CAN GET.
AAANNNNNNND!!!!!!

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!!!!!: I Am Debuting a NEW SONG on  Black Girls Rock, a love song to NY called “6th Ave” and right on time .. God is Amazing, that’s all I have to say. 


Onwards and Upwards

#SoulBirdsElevate

p.s. to all of my fellow Flautist out there LOL! tell me how I did :-)

I spent the week of October 12 - 19 in both NY and Virginia, watching the Super Storm blow through is SURREAL! … Prayers up.

SO…

On October 16th I sang for Toni Morrison!!! *spins in circles clapping and dancing!!!* … okay let me calm down LOL!

I sang a song I wrote when I was 21, after closing the back cover of Toni Morrison’s first Novel, “The Bluest Eye”

I asked God to for this, but still I am ALWAYS AMAZED by the MANIFESTATION! I’ve asked for some BIG THINGS!

What started out to be an answer to a prayer ended up being a MESSAGE that I believe GOD knew I was (Finally) ready to hear.

Nikki Giovanni called me to perform at a Tribute to Toni Morrison at Virginia Tech I instantly said yes (anyone who knows me knows I weigh EVERYTHING, LONG LIBRA STYLE!) No weighing needed here.

There are certain types of people, who when they ask you to do something, you say YES, Whoopi, Nikki, Stevie, Maya, Susan Taylor, Oprah, Angela Davis …

Remembering that day I asked for this out loud, before I even KNEW I COULD be a professional singer…I asked to sing THIS new song, inspired by The Bluest Eye, for Toni Morrison one day!  I Didn’t EVEN know what was in store for me.

Click here to watch India pay tribute to Toni Morrison

The tribute to Toni Morrison ended up being the largest gathering in decades of the Black Literary Intellectual ELITE!

… and I got to meet ALL OF THEM!

If I sound a bit dramatic, let me run this down for you.

Yes, Toni Morrison was there, AND Maya Angelou came to pay tribute … I can stop there …

BUT check THIS OUT!

Nikki Giovanni, Sonya Sanchez, ANGELA DAVIS, Rita Dove ALL guests of Honor.

AND THEN there were MANY of the world’s ELITE black (many elder female) play writes, thespians, and premier college professors … At the ceremony, they all read excerpts from Toni Morrison’s Books.

I realized through the first night of cocktail hour and dinner that I WAS a guest of Honor TOO! LOL!

It never crossed my MIND that I would be held in THAT regard by this community.

NEVER CROSSED MY MIND!

At Cocktail Hour, I sang (into a awkward sound system because Nikki asked me to) with Toni Morrison sitting 10 feet away.  When I finished she clapped and said “That’s ALL RIGHT!!!”

We ate dinner

THEN it was time to take pictures and they set up the guests of Honor in a circle of chairs and let each table come stand behind the chairs to take photos.

When they gave ME a seat next to Toni Morrison, I realized that things Nikki had been saying was more than a compliment.

Earlier in the evening Nikki Giovanni said, “It’s like a portal opened up. I’m a Harry Potter fan,  Like a portal opened up when you said YES to this, and we have someone here to represent the FUTURE and that the elders can see that there is someone who will carry on our work when we are gone.”

I said a shy thank you and took it as a compliment from someone I admire.  

After spending time with Nikki, throughout the evening I realized that this woman is REAL!!!! (she has a Thug Life tattoo on her forearm OK?!!!)  She ONLY says what she means. Period.

SO, during the photo shoot, I was seated between Nikki Giovanni and Toni Morrison. *blank stare*

I turned to Nikki and said “You MEANT what you said, that I am seen as someone who will continue this Legacy?” She said “YES!”  (paraphrasing now) “That is what you represent to these people. It gives them HOPE that their work will not END with THEM”

I almost cried! I have of course admired these women…women LIKE this, all of my life and held the IDEAL that I could be as prolific and honest and dignified … renowned, long lived and influential …

OBVIOUSLY a lot of this remains to be seen, it is the culmination of the choices I make everyday.

What I took away from this experience is that THEY SEE IT IN ME! That it’s MORE than an ideal, it’s a POSSIBILITY!

Like I said, there are some people that when they tell you something YOU LISTEN.

It is REAL that the spiritual work that I do through word and sound is being recognized by my elders…

It is ACTUALLY possible that someone will look at ME the way I look at THEM. THAT makes it ALL WORTH IT!

I’ve been through a difficult, transformational 3 years on ALL levels, (mental, physical, spiritual, emotional) but as I come out the other side of this hard time, I feel stronger for enduring the labor pains of giving birth to the woman who has the TOOLS to actually WALK THIS PATH, of, like Maya Angelou said to me, “Risk[ing] everything to tell the truth.”

Thank you Nikki Giovanni for giving me new eyes to see ME.

So this was my LIFE elevating week.

Pre – VA. Tech. I taped Black Girls Rock, and I LOVED every minute of it! - even REHEARSAL was Fun, that band was RIDICULOUSLY TIGHT!

I am VERY happy to announce that I will debut my NEW single “6th Avenue” on Black Girls Rock airing on BET November 4th!!!

A LOVE SONG TO NY and RIGHT ON TIME

Upon my Return, from VA. Tech. to NY, I played at the GEM GIRLS Fund Raiser (www.gem-girls.org @gemgirls),

Honored @WhoopiGoldberg at a LUPUS benefit Fundraiser,

AND honored @4everBrandy with a SURPRISE tribute and I couldn’t help but wrap ALL of these experiences together. There is a Pattern HERE.

My Prayer for Brandy was that she could see her GREATNESS, and influence on singers.

My prayer for the GEM GIRLS, is that they would KNOW their experiences are only to make them STRONGER, NO GUILT!

And in the end it’s all the same isn’t it?

My prayer is that we KNOW, we are not our mistakes, we are not our broken-ness, we are not our challenges  we are not the shape of our bodies, or our skin or our HAIR!

WE ARE THE SOUL THAT LIVES WITHIN! When we KNOW THIS, We can then tap into the LIMITLESSNESS of the SPIRIT and we can BE GREATNESS and inspire the same in those watching us.

My prayer for woman working hard to make their way in life, in school, their careers, relationships, with their children and health, and spiritual journeys is that we KNOW OUR POWER!

My prayer is that we don’t confuse potential with providence, that we KNOW we still HAVE to do THE WORK, AND! THAT WE KNOW WHAT OUR WORK IS! AND THAT WE WALK THAT PATH WITH CONFIDENCE!

I pray we have THAT sign along the path to let us KNOW, to really SEE! that when we are having our hardest days, that we are doing it for a reason BIGGER than ourselves, and that we have a POWER bigger than us both lifting us UP and pushing us forward.

The evolution of human kind depends on you. “Yeah you who are beautiful, yeah you who are brilliant, yeah you who are powerful, yeah YOU! Who are Resilient” ~ Beautiful Flower

#AllSoulBirdsWorldWide

Let’s spread out wings and Elevate!

That is after all what our wings are FOR!

From my Window Sill

October 20, 2012

Strength, Courage, and Wisdom

India Arie

MY REBIRTH DAY!

BIG LOVE TO ALL SOULBIRDS WORLD WIDE!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!! *spins in circles here*

IT A VERY SPECIAL ONE THIS YEAR!

I mean they always are, it’s the one time of year I give myself permission to FULL OUT LOVE AND PAMPER MYSELF, I have dinners and travel and buy things and gift things to friends, I speak my heart and am Always surprised by the show of Love from friends and family…. always! Since I was a little girl, every birthday is the BEST birthday EVER.

This year means more than THAT!

SO! …. I’ve been through a lot starting in October on ‘09 career problems - deciding to retire and literally crying myself into an epiphany that I can’t stop being me and I had to go THROUGH that challenges, so I may as well write and sing about them.

Losing direction where I’ve been walking a straight path since about 19 ready to give up on my lives passion and mission, THAT’S how bad things got.

A law suit with someone I loved dearly, I remember think to myself in bed one night, this is (at least a fraction of) what a divorce feels like.

Isolating myself spending WAAAAYYYYY to much time alone … I got used to sleeping alone

THE HARDEST PART THOUGH, IS WHEN THE HEALTH PROBLEMS STARTED! It felt like INSULT to INJURY!  Because it manifested on my face … hard to explain how it feels to have issues like this while in the public eye… my skins never been perfect, but neither had it ever been in a healing crisis and a crisis it truly WAS.

I realize NOW they are not PROBLEMS (there are FAR worse health problems OBVIOUSLY) but symptoms of cleansing and releasing old toxins and energies. I am still at the tail end of my healing, but things are SO! SO! SOOO much better … but this process, all of it hurt my heart … and then broke it wide open in asking for answers from a place of humility, I got them …

Through all of this I have learned that I was living someone else’s definition of “success” and “good”

What does that have to do with my skin? That’s what I asked MYSELF.

The CLARITY, that facilitated the healing of my skin basically over night,( closest thing I’ve experienced to a miracle)  was the realization that I didn’t love myself and because of that I gave my power away!  I THOUGHT I did, I sang about that because I was LEARNING that lesson, and I thought I’d reached the threshold and walked over into effortlessly living the practice of LOVING MYSELF.

What I really just COULD NOT SEE!  Is that, I judged myself SO HARSHLY.  I’ve discovered that I was trained by my early family life, and then by stepping into the public eye at such young age, that I had to ACHIEVE TO BE WORTHY OF LOVE. I felt I had to live up to certain moral and ethical codes set forth by my mother, to be accomplished and different, in other words … I had to be PERFECT to be lovable.  I WAS SHOCKED! TO DISCOVER THAT ONE! Consciously I was a “I don’t care what anyone this of me” person, with the neck roll and everything I had PLENTY BLACK GIRL SWAG! I’m gonna be ME, and DO me and I don’t care who don’t like it”

 Subconsciously, I didn’t really accept my imperfections, and I didn’t really like when I was not approved of, and I didn’t REALLY LOVE MYSELF.

The TRUTH that I KNEW intellectually, as Carlos Santana would say “You are significant and you matter” because you EXSIST!  The benevolent Universe loves us ALL, and has created us all OUT OF THAT LOVE. We are COMPRISED of THAT LOVE! Divine expressions of the DIVINE! How much more worthy can you get that that? It’s not what we DO, or WHO WE ARE … IT”S THAT WE ARE!!! That makes us worthy to be loved. 

Yet, we forget this, and the Journey to remembering that has been my journey of this decade and certainly this last 3 years. Really the Journey of my LIFE.

I’ve also learned that I was afraid of my own power, I never thought was this kind of person, in my mind I was full out ready to be my FULL POWER simply because I was attempting to do it! 

I wasn’t READY!, when I began to see glimpses of it, it scared me back into my shell,  and I (subconsciously of course) sabotaged myself, by attracting abusive relationships, controlling or ineffective business partners, nagging health issues, ruining good relationship, isolating myself of life. I was either IN the house, or on the stage, I had no middle. Because I was always recuperating from some kind of hurt, and then having to get myself together to answer to my business obligations…. avoiding conflict at ALL cost and being afraid that taking over my business would diminish my creative power …  I Gave my Power AWAY! Afraid of not having this vision of success someone else set forth if I was TOO powerful

NOW! I FINALLY know what giving your power away means! 

How many times have I heard someone say “I gave my power away”?

I have said it many times in my writings, songs (These eyes, There’s hope) and essays (read my soulbird blog) but I didn’t REALLY understand what that meant until THIS YEAR!

giving your power away means: giving someone ( or some THING) power to dictate how you feel about something, mainly YOURSELF.

I realize that it can be a person, a man a woman a parent a relationship of any kind, a judgement from an institution ( the music industry, corporate America, a Job) a commercial or magazine ( beauty ideals) and I have given my power over at different and probably ( at times) all at the same time …to ALL of these things.

When my health went out of balance for the sake of my healing, (thank God for getting my attention) I learned that I had to take my power back by:

1. Accepting what was happening and knowing that my life had to go on even while feeling profoundly flawed

2. It was my responsibility to heal myself.

3. Giving myself the care I needed to heal on a health protocol level including speaking my truth and commanding respect from the people around me.

I SEE now looking back, that embodying my power is separate from TAKING it back, I’ve lived in a constant (exhausting ) state  of FIGHTING for my power … for at least the past 6 years. no maybe the last 10 years … come to think  of … since my early teens ….

TODAY! My intention is to Love Myself by EMBODYING my power, to have it inside of ME at all times. 

I had the opportunity to meet Maya Angelou, the person I most identify with as a Hero, and she said A LOT! of Good stuff, as you can imagine, but my main take away was, what she said when i asked her “when was the last time you felt un empowered” and she thought in silence for at LEAST 60 seconds (that’s a long time when you sitting in the room with someone) and she looked up and said slowly, in that powerful deep voice, …NEVER.

I left there praying that I would be able to say to someone, coming to sit in MY wisdom, when they ask me that question i will say … NOT SINCE ABOUT 60 years ago ,when I was back in my mid 30’s …

Right now at this early stage, loving myself and embodying my power is a practice that lives in the MOMENT. When something comes up and threatens to take myself definition away, I look the monster in the eye. That act of LOOKING can manifest as many thing… PRAYER (talking to God), Meditation (listening to God), journaling, asking to be shown a path to healing … calling one of my elders to talk it through, asking for a message and seeing it come up in the perfect page I turn to, or seeing a movie that illuminates the perfect truth, a dream, remembering something someone said, … but that ALL STARTS with the asking for insight into how to deal with this particular challenge and the answer ALWAYS COMES.

I pray it will be second nature someday … and right now I am enjoying this NEW FEELING OF THE NEW ME. So much more to say about that, not enough time here, but i will say this:

My skin is getting better, my health is back in balance, emotionally and physically, and I have a base line feeling of WELL BEING AT ALL TIMES … this was my ULTIMATE GOAL 3 years ago … mission DEFINITELY accomplished.

October of ‘09 to THIS DAY, OCTOBER 3, 2012!!!

It’s been the most tumultuous time of my life, and that is saying a lot! I’ve had a tumultuous emotional life since the age of 12.

It’s been the most TRANSFORMATIONAL time of my life as well, and THAT is saying a lot, the release of Acoustic Soul, changed EVERYTHING, and YET THIS TIME OF MY LIFE has change me more than ANYTHING I’ve been through to date. I am truly a new me. Is this what growing up is?

Of course now that I feel this phase coming to an end, I look back on it all and am grateful for the growth, knowing the present and the future can’t exist without the past -  BUT! I can HONESTLY ( HONESTLY!!) say, even in the MIDST of the challenges I felt and FEEL, HONORED to have had this opportunity to GET TO KNOW WHO I AM, learning my OWN STRENGTH, seeing what I am CAPABLE OF, exercising my COURAGE!  and Disciple, my ATHLETIC genes … DEEPER SELF EXPRESSION, dance, and singing in different languages, actively running a business … so much that I didn’t know I could BE! and I DO LOVE ME, I love BEING ME, I accept my challenges, I draw healthy boundaries, and even on my most CHALLENGING DAYS, it’s never enough to make me NOT want to BE ME! I. LOVE. ME!

And the gift this hard time is leaving at the door on its way OUT! …a new chance at love … learning to be open again… 

Grateful for it all, I think I have the title for my NEXT album “Surrender” (Thank you Thach)

Today! I’m having a private party, nobody here but me my angels and my guitar singing baby look how far we’ve come yeah! Having private party, learning how to love me, celebrating the woman I’ve become … yeah …. Celebrating the woman I’ve become.

GOD Bless us ALL on OUR JOURNEY! , that is what life is! A JOURNEY, and may you learn your lessons, and receive ALL of your blessings.

very special love to @RobinRoberts for being an inspiration ( more that she knows)

THANK YOU: To the special people in my life who have supported me over these 3 years…

My mom @havenstreet and my brother J’on Simpson for challenging me juuuuust enough to help me to refine my visions.

Hilda Willis

Donnita Hathaway @donnitacamille

Anasa Troutman @anasat

Densie Francis @denisu81

Yahfaw Shacor

Lydia Potter

Stephen Hill @StephenGHill

Carolyn Robbins @iamtheseeke

Choklate Moore @choklate

Ametria Dock @Fruition_info

Chantae Cann @ChantaeCann

Khari Simmons

Shannon Sanders @_SHANNONSANDERS

Blue Miller (BLUUUUUUUUUEEEE)

Ollie Cotton @necam7

Idan Raichel @Idanraichel1

Tracy Miller @tmapublicity

And to my new friends:

Charles LaMont @CharlesLaMont

Ayinde Howell @Ayinde

Thach Nguyen @thachguyen

With love, Strength, Courage, and Wisdom,

From my Windowsill

October 3, 2012

India. Arie

The content of this post has been removed for legal purposes.

January 1, 2011

This New Years, I am reflecting not on the end of a year but the end of a decade, The morning of December 31, 2010, laying in the bed I was thinking about these things and decided to write it down – which I do most things… I decided to share this one  …. Here it is …. 

The 10 most important lessons of the Decade 

1. In the last 10 years, I’ve lent major amounts of money to 10 people, 7 of those 10 people, have not  paid me back, and the 3 who paid me back, were employees.

The Lesson: To paraphrase yoda : Lend not , either give or don’t give..

2. Between 2002 and 2004 (roughly) I was in a bad relationship. 2 years later in a very random moment on a Flight to South Africa realized that relationship was ACTUALLY emotionally abusive. To this day I have flash backs of what I SHOULD have SAID (or done) in certain instances, kind of like Post Traumatic Stress of the Heart.

The Lesson: there is a very fine line between a bad relationship and an emotionally abusive one, peace at ALL cost isn’t peace at all. Always be your self, if your significant other is treating you in ways you would advise your friends not to tolerate, change your situation.

3. People ask me often, how I felt about the Grammy’s of 2002, where I was nominated for 7 Grammy’s and ultimately shut out. I said everything from; I was un fair and it hurt me, TO I am glad it happened that way it taught me a lot and gave my star room to rise. In this past Decade I’ve realized, that spiritually, I can ONLY get what I am READY and OPEN for. I wanted the attention but I was Afraid of all of the attention. I was so scared by all of those Grammy nomination that I had chest pains, I wanted to win but I was afraid of the responsibility of it, and I found every subconscious way to make sure I didn’t win. OFCOURSE it was ALSO, all very political, the opposing business team CRUSHED MY business team, …. But in the end I won a place in the HEARTS of millions and over the next decade, I went on to create 3 more albums all while standing somewhat still.  What I mean is, I didn’t grow too much, or too little, I didn’t make TOO many new fans but I didn’t loose any, and TO THIS DAY people talk about how I SHOULD have won. In hindsight I realize that I DID win, and I could have leveraged THAT very public shut out into a MAJOR career win, I just didn’t WANT to, I was afraid.

LESSON: when you’re scared of Failure and scared of success, standing still is the only option left – only you can choose which one.

4. This decade my BIGGEST lesson has been speaking my truth even when I’ afraid. I went from a very earthy, poetic hearted, sensitive art student young adult in my thrift store dresses and riding my bike playing guitar under the trees …. To being a VERY small fish in a HUGE ocean, prayed upon by Blue blooded corporate SHARKS!  And INSTANTLY, I had to say things like “do what you said you are going to do! … to the CEO of Motown, or “My Band NEEDS to be taken care of “  OH!  How bout this one: “ THIS PERSONS NAME, NEEDS to be on the back of my album SHE is the TRUE executive producer ”  TO THE CFO OF UNIVERSAL MUSIC GROUP.  And EVERY time I had to have a confrontation I would be sweating DOWN my armpits and heart racing really genuinely AFRAID, of what I’m not SURE, of stepping out of my comfort zone, FOR SURE.  I used to see this scary thing that came into my life, as a burden that wasn’t meant to be, but I realize now I was but in the water with the sharks to learn to fend for myself, to navigate the world…. MY WEAPON? Prayer and my spiritual grounding. I do things like wear white on my head during those meetings, I pray about what to say before hand and meditate on it. I ask God to cover and protect my heart that I would speak my truth with love and not become hardened by ANY confrontation…. Simple things, and they work for me. I’ve come a LONG way in being able to speak for myself, and still a long way to go.

THE LESSON: to paraphrase the Yoruba proverb: Through prayer, there is a bigger FISH waiting to eat the BIG fish that’s trying to eat you.

5. My MOTHER and I ….. my mother and I , what can I say.  During this decade we went from Being a conventional Mother and daughter. To a more symbiotic relationship. She still the mom and gets to win every debate, but we DO DEBATE.  And while my career has brought LOTS of lessons for me, it’s also brought LOTS OF LESSONS FOR HER.  My mother was ALSO a singer, and the small upstart label Motown wanted to sign her as a Teenager. She decided not to do and regretted it all her life. NOW here I am 23 years old signing with Motown. I didn’t consciously do it for her, but subconsciously for sure I did. I’m certain of this. And during this decade I’ve seen my mother act in way I didn’t recognize. Growing up my mother was the STORNGEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET. PERIOD. She paid the bills owned a business and raised 2 children, pretty much alone… but during this decade, I was able to free her form THOSE responsibilities and she took on OTHER responsibilities of being a part of my CAREER TEAM. I watched my mother having emotional our bursts and being childish at times, doing things I found not only foreign but EXTREEEEEMLEY annoying… but we continued to work together because I needed her there,  to protect me, and hold me up when my back was weak. I quickly got clear that NO ONE, cared about me like she did in business or in the world in general and I needed her there… and I WANTED her there to experience my new HIGHS! ….  The alternative of not having her there, didn’t feel anything like right. My love for her called me to, get over the shock of her not being the STRONGEST PERSON IN THE WORLD, to find a way to really SEE the REASONS behind why she would sometimes act the way she does.

The Lesson: My mother is not just my MOTHER, she isnt PERFECT!, she is  HUMAN, she is  PERFECTLY HUMAN, and I have to honor and make room for that.

6. There have been A LOT of ups and downs, and I’m not sure when I signed up for such a tumultuous life. I’ve experienced VERY High HIGHS, and Very LOW, Lows.  And when I’m living in the in between I don’t know what to do with myself but SIT still somewhere and stare out the window, and that inevitably turns into analyzing my feelings… and writing … writing things like this. I always come back to the truth that I have lived many of my dreams, and things I could have never dreamed of. I always wanted to MEET Stevie Wonder, now I’ve not only MET him, but written 2 songs and recorded 2 songs with him. One that was the title cut for his first album in 10 years. Nominated for 2 Grammy’s with him, ( the Christmas song and a time to love)  won an NAACP award with him, become friends with him. I’ve Sang with James Taylor, Had Bill Withers in an audience at my show, been on Oprah 3 times, performed twice. I even got to meet and have a private conversation with Met Nelson Mandela.

I’ve been in 3 major relationships, one youthful one ( brown skin) one awful one (These eyes)  and one GREAT one ( He heals me) , and some interesting friendships in between a public relationship ( The Truth), a surprise one, (Beautiful surprise), Wait until your hear 6^th Avenue -  LOL!  EVERY one of those relationships was a blessing.  I’ve gone from a starving artist to financially independent, shared the stage with Sting, Bette Midler, won 3 grammy, been nominated for 23 GRAMMYS! won NUMEROUS NAACP AWARDS, and a few BET awards,  I have the REGULAR EXPERIENCE of EVERYTIME I am in concert, the whole audience sings every word to every songs, and the person who made me see that clearly, was George Benson….  I’ve recorded with John Mellencamp, Cassandra Wilson, Julia Fordham, Sergio Mendes, Carlos Santana, Stevie Wonder, …  Herbie Hancock…. Smokey Robinson, most recently, Keb’mo I’ve even been written about in a book “ The Transformation” by Ainslie McLeod. And more and more and more …..I could go on and on and that’s the point.

The Lesson: there is REAL power in Focusing on the Good. FOR REAL

7. I realize that in nurturing my career, that I didn’t have the energy to nurture ANYTHING ELSE! I didn’t nurture my friendships, my family relationships, there was a period of time in there where I wasn’t even nurturing my own health. Touring severely anemic, and wondering why I am tired ALL DAY EVERY DAY, struggling to just make it through the airport, and trying to pretend like I feel good when I get on television, much of the time not saying how I REALLY feel about things. At the turn of the decade, I feel accomplished, but emotionally poor in many ways.  Over the last 3 years I’ve worked harder to be better with my loved ones, and I am TRUYL thankful for the friends who are still HERE for me, and gracefully bowing out of all relationships that had to leave my life. I am now living in more balance, and moderation and that brings so much clarity

The Lesson to paraphrase the serenity prayer: Thank you God for granting me the clarity to Honor the relationships that i can not change, the Courage to Heal the relationships that I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

8. HINDSIGHT LOOMS LARGE at the turn of this decade. It is so easy for me to look back at the past and see my missteps, how I could have taken the other fork in the road and maybe be standing in a different spot than THIS ONE., what ever this one IS … struggling for my artistic integrity, afraid of something I have to do, firing an employee, being mistreated by an authority figure, feeling over looked, or under valued .. under paid.. whatever it is.  Hindsight doesn’t shows me how I could have kept this from happening … I realize NOW, that the real lesson that hindsight teaches, is that I DON’T have to be here AGAIN.

The lesson: its okay not to Know, exploration is how we grow

9. SUCCESS is subject to your OWN definition. I had MANY people around me over the years who had DREAMS FOR me, I thought that meant they cared, and I’m sure they did, but I NOW understand that their dreams for me where inextricably tied to their OWN dreams of what THEY could ACHIEVE THROUGH me.  I got to a place where I was working EVERYDAY, my very life energy was to fulfill someone else’s dreams for my life – slave to someone else’s agenda. The music industry is TOO HARD, the travel ALONE! and the energy out put is SO MUCH, TOO MUCH to be doing it for someone else’s reasons …..  That used to REALLY hurt me, but I understand now, that its human nature, and as it should be, We ALL have our own agendas and missions in life.  Instead of spending so much energy on being HURT, I need to pay attention to MY agenda. Honor my dreams, honor my LIFE, define my mission and  run my own race. About a year ago I promised myself, to take the reigns of my life. During this year of self- analyses, I realized that I was COMPLETELY UN EMPOWERED, and contrary to what I always felt,  NO ONE USURPED MY POWER, I GAVE it away, FOR FEAR THAT I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO MANAGE MY OWN LIFE.  I realize now that I lived a VERY sheltered life, which I am thankful for, but it left me with out the tools to navigate this world I walked into 10 years ago. The last 10 years has been an education in how the world IS, and now I am ready to create the PERSONAL world I desire. It is from that place of EMPOWERMENT, that for the FIRST TIME  I GET CLEAR ON MY DEFINITION OF SUCCESS:

THE LESSON:  Success for ME is CLARITY of my intention*, and reaching that intention while being true to myself.

10. My Intention: To spread love, healing, peace, and joy, through the POWER OF WORDS AND MUSIC. To be a living example of acceptance, honoring of cultural diversity, the interconnectedness of humankind, the elevation of consciousness of humanity, and above all else, to be an example of the truth that LOVE WINS, And to do it all while being TRUE TO MY SELF. 

In the end, after this completely unexpected experience of fame … 

The Lesson: No matter what anybody says, what matters MOST is what you think of your self

With love, Strength, Courage and Wisdom

INDIA.ARIE

January 1, 2011 

From My Window Sill 

Atlanta Georgia